I felt well being a Human Library Book

Today I had the opportunity to be a 'book' for the Human Library . A Human Library is, "a mobile library set up as a space for dialogue and interaction. Visitors to the Human Library are given the opportunity to speak informally with “people on loan”; this latter group being extremely varied in age, sex and cultural background" [see Human Library.org].


On this occasion, I was talking about my journey from long term illness back to paid employment; and from the 'white knuckle ride' I experienced initially, returning to work with a memory impairment, to my present circumstances, where I feel much more comfortable, both, in my job and in my skin. 


I was 'loaned' three times and had conversations with folk who otherwise would have remained perfect strangers. My 'Readers' couldn't have known this, but prior to the session I was experiencing one of my periodic 'lows'; a 'condition' which sometimes creeps up on me, riddling me with self-doubt. 


However, I can tell you, this experience was transformative for me. Only three conversation later and I was flourishing. In the language of the 5 Ways to Wellbeing, I was using three of the 5 wellbeing 'ways' - namely, give, keep learning and connect. 


The Human Library isn't only a wonderfully 'organic' way to challenge prejudice and stereotypes, it is also a very powerful wellbeing 'tool' - powerful, in a good way, for everyone who takes part (and I speak advisedly, having been a borrower in previous events). There is a lot of power in creating a conversation; in making contact and communicating your story, and sharing time with others. 


If you are interested in being involved in a Human Library event, contact 
Oz Osbourne or Nick Little.


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Smiling Despite Your Self

When my youngest daughter was a little pin-dot she would sometimes get an attack of the glums; an attack so powerfully projected and pervasive that it would bring the whole household 
d
  o
        w
            n....


One of the wellbeing ways I used to lift her - and us! - was to create poems and songs which would make her smile despite herself. Here's one such creation from that time:

Take care my bunny
Please mind that lip
It's pouting so far now
You might go and trip

Beware the Gloomy
The Gloomy is glum
And so are the rest of us
When the Gloomy is done

Dark are the shadows
Where Gloomy has been
Beware the Gloomy
This Gloomy is mean

Sad little Gloomy
Covered in gloom
Moaning and groaning
Alone in her room

Come on out Gloomy
into the sun
There's fun to be had
This day's just
Begun!

Shamelessly derivative, inspired as it was by the poetry of Colin McNaughton. Nevertheless, it really did work, and I remain very fond of this poem. Growing up shouldn't mean that we can't be playful. Of course, wellbeing isn't about being relentlessly happy twenty four seven (heaven forbid). We experience a range of moods, and our highs are defined in relation to our lows. However, it is about being aware of ways through which we can increase our emotional resilience, and improve our general sense of wellbeing. 

Beware the gloomy!


Colin Howey <*((((><(

Valuing Each Other

I have been working with a group of unemployed people who have just completed an eight week Adult Education employability skills course called 'Your Aim Your Gain'. In a conversation, the tutor and I agreed that the group had bonded really well, and that it seemed such a shame that - due to the realities of funding - the course would be coming to an end. We decided, therefore, to encourage the students to form their own informal network and stay in touch. I am really pleased that this suggestion was met with enthusiasm, and that they intend to meet in the city centre on Thursday mornings.


Connecting is absolutely vital for people who are unemployed. Not only is the experience often so isolating and disempowering, it is also that work is a vital source of identity and status for people. The group have been working to develop skills to identify skills and aptitude in their peers, and I am hopeful that this process will continue between them. I certainly know that most jobs I've got have been as a result of someone else seeing that I'd be good at it, whereas I'd only see potential barriers. The ability of people to value each other, and give others status is really important.


I have also talked about the Five Ways to Wellbeing with this group, and they were all very interested. I think that if you give folk a practical and understandable set of principles (a 'toolkit') then they may be able to develop the personal resources to develop emotional resilience, even during these hard times.


Colin Howey <*((((><(

Ready to go again...

Well, it has been a while since I last posted anything here. I have been ill recently and needed to take some time out. However, I am feeling better now and I'm ready to continue working to promote wellbeing.

During my recuperation I travelled with a good friend of mine and spent some time exploring some of Norfolk's wonderful medieval churches. I found that taking the time to spend quality time like this was really restorative. You might be interested to read the following piece I wrote about an incident with a Wren trapped in a church...
Birds with Broken Wings

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Winter Wildlife Wellbeing Wander

Just before Christmas I organised a 'Winter Wildlife Wellbeing Wander' on Mousehold Heath. This was aimed at individuals who might be easily labeled by negatives; former offenders, unemployed people, alcoholics - or, in some instances, folk with combinations of the above. For me, this offered an opportunity to bring people together to do something positive and life enhancing (albeit, a bit chilly at times!). Even in snowy conditions (see photo, above) eight people turned out - which I was really pleased about.

An Adult Education tutor partnered up with one of the City Council Mousehold Heath Wardens to 'lead' our ramble through this winter wonderland. However, before I describe some of what transpired on this day, I want to focus on another individual. You see, I also invited a man (let's call him 'M'), currently living in short-stay supported housing, to come along and share with us his knowledge of living off the land. M had been bought up in care (I struggle not to put that c word in inverted commas!), and, at the age of sixteen, was relocated hundreds of miles out of his area, ending up in Yarmouth, where he was left to fend for himself. He went on to become a career criminal, eventually serving a sentence for murder. In his own words, he currently "drinks to be normal" and is an alcoholic.   He has been homeless. Lots of labels there then - lots to pathologise.


However, seen in another light, here is a man who has served his time and is now attempting to listen to the 'better angels' of his nature. He loves his dog, and, spent last summer walking the coast of southern England with him as a trusted companion. When I sat down with him and listened to his 'journey' I was struck by the history in his head, and, also, that he has expertise which should be shared.


Anyway, M came along with his dog (who also had an excellent time, by the way!), and told us loads of fascinating stuff about surviving in the outdoors. I was fascinated when he smelt the presence of a fox; reminding me that a lot of us tend not to be open to learning through our range of senses. Later, when I asked him how he felt about having been our teacher, he was really enthusiastic and energised.  I think that one of the reasons for this, is that the experience had given him status. That is to say, he had internalised the respect and approval which we had given him, a process which enhances ones sense of self. Whereas previously he had achieved this through violence and domination, he was able to connect in gentler ways, and feel the respect of his peers.


As we ate our picnic outdoors in the snow, we all discussed how amazing it had been to be witness to the beauty of the freshly fallen flakes. As well as the formal learning, we took time to stop and look at the world around us; to breathe in the cool fresh air. Although Mousehold Heath is surrounded by an urban area (of Norwich), we were in a green and white space, away from cars or bustle. We saw Robins and Blackbirds and animal tracks, and heard the calls of countless other creatures. I offered a supportive arm to one of the group who I had met on a couple of occasions, but who, for whatever reason, had never spoken to me. I said to him that if I fall he's going too, and vice versa and he laughed. Later, he confided a secret to me - a recognition of trust and connection that warmed me. As a group we walked for about an hour and a half in total.


I also spoke to D, who is a man in his 50s, currently unemployed, and quite isolated and lacking confidence. He told me that it was great to get out and be in the company of others; meeting new people and learning new things together.


At the end of our wintery ramble I asked for some feedback from the group, and then reflected back to them how everyone seemed to be more relaxed and fulfilled, and suggested to them that this was because we had done at least five good things together...


Connect
Take Notice
Be Active 
Keep learning
Give


In conclusion, here are some of the elements that, in my opinion, made this a success:

• The experience was facilitated in a relaxed manner
• Folk were invited to contribute, and given space to stop and take notice, without undue pressure
• We were in wonderful surroundings
• All of the Five Ways were in play here, and were 'revealed' retrospectively
• We had feedback mechanisms which allowed participants to let us know how they felt about our ramble
• We brought together a diverse range of people and engaged them in an active and positive experience where their contributions are encouraged and recognised

Although wellbeing is for all, I am committed to working alongside folk who, for whatever reason, may be struggling.  Recently, I was being interviewed at an awards ceremony and was asked what I do. I hadn't rehearsed a speech, and my spontaneous reply turned out to be a summary of my values and approach...

"I want to provide learning which is people-shaped. I also think that one of the most powerful things I can give is to have positive expectations of others when, perhaps, they don't - or can't - give this to themselves... yet."

Colin <*((((><(

Norwich Cathedral - a WellBeing resource...

I recently 'gave' WellBeing 'tours' of Norwich cathedral, which were offered to folk I work alongside. It was just before Christmas and I wanted to give folk something unique to me. Working as an historical educator and interpreter who has done a lot of work in the cathedral I wanted to share my particular perspective with others. Although my focus was historical - in particular, exploring the contributions of ordinary people to this grand building -, I also wanted to demonstrate what a fantastic wellbeing resource the cathedral - and similar buildings - are for the people of Norfolk.

I always think that the Five Ways are best illustrated retrospectively; that is, once they have been experienced. Accordingly, I was able to draw out the following elements to our experience within the cathedral:

Connect:

We came together to share some quality time and explore this building together

Take notice:

We were able to appreciate the beauty of this special place, and were also invited to slow down and look within.

Be active:

We spent nearly an hour rambling through the building. Gentle exercise I know, but nonetheless, genuine exercise

Keep learning:

We learnt from each other as we passed through the building. For instance, in this exchange, a young girl was able to point out a mason's mark that I had never noticed before

Give:

We gave our time to each other; shared insights, laughter... comfortable silence.

This is a building which - regardless of whether you have Christian faith; faith from a different tradition, or no faith - does things to you - if you will allow it to...

The spire and the ceilings encourage us to look up and experience a sense of awe and wonder. The more intimate spaces of the side chapels, and darker east end, prompt more reflection and, possibly, introspection. The candles invite us to be lost in the dance of their flame.

I would encourage you to explore this and other special places. These 'sanctuary spaces' are, potentially,  such a powerful wellbeing resource!

A Wellbeing Workplace...

I feel that we need to make our working environments, both, more brain and planet friendly. Why, for instance, do we insist on having static meetings? There is an old phrase that says, "it is solved by walking". Some of my best eureka moments have been when walking along in conversation with someone else. The sky is a brilliant roof - much better and more likely to inspire than some dismal strip-light!

The trouble is - to extend the walking metaphor - we tend to fear an untrod path. However, when we dare to do different, and experiment a bit, the results can be amazing. For instance, I recently completed an intensive teaching qualification, writing several thousand words in a day. I did it by working in twenty five minute bursts, punctuated by ten minute breaks. The 'breaks' when, ostensibly, I wasn't working often proved to be the time when I experienced those moments of synthesis and inspiration which a nose to the grindstone culture so efficiently stifles. The optimal performance of the human brain is sustained for less than half an hour at a time.

Why then all the dreadful long meetings? It reminds me of a thought from the wonderful Ken Robinson video I posted here recently.  I think that this fear of rest and relaxation stems from an attitude to people equivalent to the strip-mining of our planet - and, as with such reckless plundering, it is equally unsustainable. A well chaired meeting with regular breaks and changes in the mode of delivery - visual, aural, read/write, kinaesthetic - is bound to produce more of value in less time. And perhaps in those 'breaks' we might get to know each other - and ourselves - better. We might CONNECT and GIVE and KEEP LEARNING, TAKE NOTICE. If we walk and talk we might even BE ACTIVE. In other words, as the Foresight Report has established, if we build these five 'ways' into our daily lives our wellbeing is likely to improve.

I have been experimenting with this in my own working life, and have found that when colleagues and partners are amenable to playing with some of these ideas, we're achieving more and feeling better for it.

It ain't rocket science folks!

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